– Cady Heron, Mean Girls 2004
No number of minutes and seconds will have ever been enough, when coming to the life-changing choice of chocolate bar that you may have been fortunate enough to have been treated to, by your parents on a Friday afternoon after school. When bombarded with so much choice of colourful packaging, concealing a tempting treat beneath, which the corner shop owner displays so enticingly, it can almost become so stressful to arrive at a decision, that we’re sometimes just forced to retreat and give up on ever being able to decide what our favourite chocolate is. But hey, being traumatized by the panicked, time-restricted and tactless choice of the reject, Bounty, is considerably better than no chocolate bar at all.
From the outside, I can only imagine what an almighty handful I would seem to be in a relationship, courtship or friendship. I’d appear to say no to any suggestion of food, turn down the 3rd round of drinks because it would probably keep me up past my 10 o’clock body curfew, or retire early from the group activity because I haven’t been for my 40km priority run yet that day. Not that you wouldn’t all jump up at once to spend time with some mentally distorted, food obsessed, vision of a woman but I won’t lose all hope in chivalry.
Okay, eating disorders may unintentionally have their boundaries and limitations, but it’s only when those limits are imposed upon you, do you begin to broaden your horizons. Not that fine dining or espresso martini’s in abundance could ever go out of fashion, but surely we can procure something more exciting to do, from the vast selection of choice within the deep pockets of London? Because at the end of the day we don’t all shit money (though if you do, I might just eat what you are) for the fine dining London experience, or for the bucket of ice and cabbage patch they’re calling your Mojito, to comprise another uninspiring date night each week.
Only now, can I appreciate how many more plans void of food and drink can be procured from an extra bit of thought when there are (for the meantime) many things that pose a huge hurdle for me. Museums, outdoor cinemas, bike rides, mini-golf, the list goes on.
We might not be able to wine and dine at the top of the Heron Tower just yet but they’re not limits, they’re opportunities.