With a side portion of fish concentration and attention…
So not only has this become the most common one-liner to spam every other bio of a guy’s Tinder profile, but is actually something right now, I wouldn’t possibly be able to do – sending out my apologies for letting down all those eligible bachelors, in my long queue of matches and super-likes.
I would define chill as the ability to sit back, relax and flounder in the thoughts that are swimming lazily around in your head, while maybe basking in good company with some form of entertainment to occupy and distract you. (Netflix can be included at your own discretion)
The fact that Netflix haven’t created their own branded form of contraception, still astounds me, as at any mention of ‘Netflix and Chill’, only one activity realistically springs to mind. Canoodling aside (seeing as most of my family read this) I am in fact referring to the ability to remain focused on a film or TV box set for longer than 3 minutes (or whatever the recommended time is before it becomes appropriately acceptable to make ‘the move’).
When you’re unwillingly lumbering every mind cloud with persistent heavy thoughts of food, weight, body image and whether or not I can eat that can of anchovies later, there isn’t much room for any new rays of thought to try to shine its way through and detract me away, which is why I find it so hard at times to just chill the f*** out and concentrate on other things!
Thankfully now, at the dawn of most mornings, I’m able to wake up from a reasonably undisturbed sleep, which hasn’t involved dreams – okay, nightmares – of greedily consuming a meat feast pizza, as well as being able to rest easier at night where I’m not meticulously totting up all manner of calorie consumption and expenditure for that day, and deciding whether or not I really deserved that extra apple on the side of my coffee. This, for me, shows a relatively positive feat, as it shows that I’m able to at least relax a bit more than I once was.
Though it still feels like a slow-moving London Midland service, where I often get stopped by the 101 platforms of anorexic thoughts, I’d definitely say now that only a good 85%, as opposed to 99.9%, of my thoughts are spent on food, weight and body image. The rest still spreads itself very thinly across other elements of my life – namely baking and blogging #wild.
In my current inability to remain attentive and focused on things, I’d still politely decline any such invitation for a Netflix and chill, should it come about. I should however give a big thumbs up and congratulations to BBC for the creation of their new TV series, New Blood. For the first time in what feels like an incredibly long time, I have in fact been able to sit back, relax and relish in the beautiful faces of Rash and Stefan, unknowingly realising I’ve been able to comfortably chill, for 3 back-to-back episodes, that weren’t persistently interrupted from thoughts unrelated to what’s viewing in front of me. (Now I just have to impatiently wait for case 2 on 23rd June)